AVGN AND RWBY
by Mr IDONTKNOWWHATIMDOING
Summary: AVGN reviews RWBY Grimm Eclipse, then is sucked into their world
1. It's a fucking futon

It was a terrible day.

The sun was radiating powerful waves of orangey red heat on the hometown of the Angry Video Game Nerd.

Everyone was stumbling around in dire need of water to cool their sweaty bodies and burned brains, too tired to speak or rationally think.

In each home, the air conditioners were blasted to their full capacity, fans were whirring around in haste, and the trees and shrubbery that decorated the houses in the suburb where dying and losing their vibrant colour.

The inside of the humble home of the AVGN was no different. Picking his favourite white buttoned shirt, taking a batch of pens for his shirt pocket, and grabbing his glasses, the Nerd walked down to his gaming room, where a ton of old and new consoles lay. The walls were laden with shelves that had been packed stacks and stacks of shitty games.

On the couch that lay in the middle of the room sat Kyle Justin - the Nerd's guitarist and composer of his theme song - who slowly strummed his guitar nonchalantly.

"What fucking shit are you playing?" The internet's most ill tempered gamer had found his composer.

The guitar guy shrugged "Just something i wrote from behind the couch."

"It's not a fucking couch you pile of shit, it's a fucking FUTON," Roared James "Now get back there!"

Knowing it was useless to argue, the guitar guy sighed and retreated to his home. The back of a gamers's futon.

Sitting in front of his Commodore 64, James began to surf the internet, searching for new games to review. Once he got online, he got a notification on Facebook.

The box read "Please review RWBY Grimm Eclipse nerd."

He raised an eyebrow, having never heard of this game, and clicked it away.

Bing!

Another notification popped out. "Nerd! Review fucking RWBY Grimm Eclipse!"

He clicked it away.

Bing!

The box on the top right of page read "Play RWBY Grimm Eclipse dick head."

The Nerd was now thoroughly confused. What was this RWBY Grimm Eclipse, and why did his viewers want him to review it so bad?

BING!

Two boxes had shown their ugly faces simultaneously, both demanding to see a Nerd episode about this game.

"The fuck-" James angrily swept them away, extremely pissed now "What the fucking hell is RWBY Grimm Eclipse? I bet RWBY stands for Ruddy Whore Bitching…" he struggled to find an insult beginning with 'y'.

BING

BING

BING

BING

More and more flew out, dropping his jaw, as well as his patience.

"Guitar guy!" The Nerd shouted to his futon

Kyle's head swung into view. "Yes?"

"The fuck is RWBY Grimm Eclipse?!"

"I believe it's a recently released game based on a recently released tv show."

"Well then i can't review it! It's recently released product! That's out of my time period!"

BING

BING

BING

BING

BING

BING

"I think you should give it a try!" Yelled Guitar Guy over the 'bings' that the Commodore was excreting rapidly.

For his rabid fans, he downloaded the game from Steam ( Now for 7.78 US dollars! ) and sat down to review it.

Picking up his controller and starting the game, he began to play and take notes to see if this was bad enough for an episode.

"Ok, start up screen. Ok, select character. What the fuck? Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang?" He lifted up his glasses. "Those are some fucking unique names! And by unique, i mean shitty."

Eventually, he reached the part where enemies started to pour in the screen.

"What are these fucking black blundering dicks? Are they the enemies?"

As his avatar pounded more and more Grimm to death, The AVGN started to become bored.

"So, basically, its a beat em up. Just fighting more and more of these bears. That's all to it. Fucking amazing."

Becoming more and more bored of punching Grimm in the face, he put down his controller and stared at the screen, where a hoard of monsters mercilessly swarmed his character.

"That's all? Just monotonous fighting?" He placed his face in his hand. "Oh, and look i died. What a piece of shit. I can't take this anymore, i just can't."

Kyle sat down next to him, guitar in hand. "How's the game Nerd?"

"It's just pigeon shit. Putrid ass dropping being squeezed out of a rhino's dick hole. All you do is kill these fucking things! That's all! You're stuck in his hell, being able to do nothing else but just fight and fight and fight. I can get better games on my phone for free! This game is just pure shit."

"Aww, it's ok Nerd." Kyle tried to comfort him, gingerly patting his shoulder.

"The fuck are you doing?" The Nerd had removed his face from his hand. " Are you patting my shoulder?"

The Guitar Guy started stuttering "I,uh, just though that, you know…"

"GET BEHIND THE FUCKING COUCH!"

"I, uh, thought you said it was a futon…"

"PISS OFF!"

Kyle hurriedly scamped back to his resting place ( literally ) while the Nerd shut off the game and turned off his computer.

With the Commodore 64 off and the guitar guy out of sight, an uncomfortable silence had returned to the room.

James slumped in his chair and groaned. "What is it with this fucking game? Everyone wants to see me review it? Well, it's a piece of shit. Thats all…the fuck?"

At the mention of the game being shit, the Commodore that James had run it on began to hum, and light up, steam billowing from its plastic vents.

In a blast of colourful light, like a evil shitty rainbow of horse piss, the ageing computer had vaporised The AVGN on the spot, leaving nothing but a loud 'FUCK' that slowly faded away.

As the glare of light invaded the pitch blank warmth of his eyes, his eyes opened groggily. But as soon as they did, they wished they had stayed shut, for above him was none other then Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang furiously watching him. Weiss, the one in a white dress kicked his leg

"The fucking hell are you doing in our dorm?"

Still unable to speak, James rolled over to face another angry female:Yang.

"Probably just a little peeping tom, the bastard."

Unbeknownst to team RWBY, The Angry Video Game Nerd had materialised into their dorm room floor…


	2. AVGN Assimilation

The Nerd glared at the 4 pissed off girls above him.

"How the fuck did i get here?"

Yang delivered a painful kick to his shoulder, prompting him to get up.

"I thought you would know, dumbass."

He leaned up, rubbing his arm

"I don't know know, you bitch! I was just playing a game and then…oh…no…no…nah! Nah!"

"Nah what?" Weiss huffed

"I know you four! You're from that piece of shit game!"

"They made a game of us?!" Ruby's sparkling eyes twinkled with delight.

Her jubilance quickly faded under the furious glares from her unimpressed team.

"What game are you talking about?" Blake asked, confused on what she was supposed to feel. Angry at this creepy guy, or confused at his ramblings on their game.

James stood up scowling, still glaring at the 4 of them, "Some game based on a tv show. Some game named RWBY Grimm Eclipse."

The team looked at each other and had some sort of silent conversation. They nodded and mumbled a bit from time to time. Finally they turned to him.

"We aren't based off a tv show," Yang said defiantly "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Wait…" Weiss spoke suddenly, looking shell-shocked "He's that guy from the game."

Once again, team RWBY twirled to face each other

"What game are you talking about, Weiss?" Ruby whispered nervously

"You know, Angry Video Game Nerd Assimilation ( Now out on Steam! )"

Blake glanced back at the nerd, then back at Weiss. "Yeah, he does resemble that guy from the game."

"Ask him if he knows about it!"

"I can fucking hear you, you know!" The Nerd shouted.

"Wait for us to finish talking you fucking nerd!" Weiss retaliated

"Damn right i'm a fucking nerd! I'm THE fucking nerd!"

A horrible silence dripping with shock followed

"Wait.." Blake said "What did you say again?"

James stared at her, and slowly said "I'm the fucking nerd."

"Oh shitballs" Weiss muttered "He is that guy from the game."

"Wait, let's not be rash" Yang interjected "Hey guy!" She nodded her head towards James. "What's your name?"

"I am the Angry Video Game Nerd."

The air suddenly became a lot thicker.

"That's a mouthful" Yang grinned at him "What about we call you something else? How about…Pervert?"

The AVGN told her to suck a cock.

She scratched her chin, unfazed. "Hmmm…what about Asshole?"

He ignored her and turned to the rest of her team. " What where you guys talking about?"

Ruby scrambled to the end of the room, where a large tv sat on a birch wood cupboard where a console game lay with 4 controllers connected to it.

She stuck her hand behind the tv and brought out a large, shiny CD with a picture of a very angry but pixelated Nerd in his full armour and with super scope in hands, jumping across a sewer infested with massive living balls of shit.

"Oh shiiiiiiiit…" The Nerd scowled "That's my game…"

"No shit" Ruby angrily, as she tossed the CD into his hands

Yang leaned on her makeshift double-decker bed "Soooo Asshole, any idea why you're here?"

Just then, a call echoed from outside of their rectangular and messy room

"The finals of the Vytal Festival are here! First match! Pyrrha Vs Penny!"

"Oooh FUCK!" Ruby yelled.

As the rest of her friends ran out in a hurry, Yang grabbed James's collar and pulled him out of the room with them.

"You're coming with us Asshole!" Yang grinned

"Fuck." The Nerd sighed…


	3. He's Had Enough Of This Shit

Ruby's shaking knees hit the cold, hard ground.

Cold, like the grim reaper, a collector or souls, death itself. And the grim reaper just took her friend, Penny.

In a quick move, the machine was deactivated.

Pangs of incredible pain struck her heart, itching at her eyes, drawing tears.

Behind her, Mercury stood, laughing at her agony.

"Haha, your little fucking robot friend is dead as shit!"

He jeered at her, spraying his spit and her crouched figure.

"Penny Polendina sat on a wall…"

His eyes narrowed, a creepy smile growing. Ruby could feel herself getting angry

"Penny Polendina had a great fall…"

Her hands curled into fists

"All of James Ironwood's men, and all of his robots, couldn't put Penny together again."

As he finished his song, Ruby whirled around in rage, scythe at hand, ready to cut the fucker's head off, but her team got there first.

Yang rammed into him with speed, slamming him into the opposite wall.

The concrete cracked, and Mercury slumped to the floor with a black eye.

Blake kicked his head, knocking out a tooth and a wave of blood.

With Weiss's foot on his back, he fell to the floor, breathing heavily into a pool of his own blood, laughing softly.

"Haha…why so violent?"

Yang grabbed his grey hair and pulled his bleeding head up. She stared right into his evil eyes.

"You didn't think we wouldn't find you suspicious? We already guessed you where part of some evil ass plan."

He chuckled quietly "You can never guess what comes next."

Yang punched him hard in the face, breaking his jaw and knocking him out cold.

"Stay down this time, you little bitch. We got your back, Rubes."

For the AVGN, he observed the event known, later as The Battle Of Beacon, behind them without a word.

To him, this was all fuzzy. He had still no idea where he was, or what was going on.

To him, he had no stakes. Unlike team RWBY, this wasn't personal to him. Not yet anyway.

He silently heard Cinder's threat, his brain calculating the situation.

As the Grimm warning rung out into the mass of frightened students and teachers, he stayed put.

Weiss grabbed his arm, and pulled him around the face her.

"Now you look here. I don't know who you are, i don't care. But you should help us now, or we'll send you to Ozpin. Got it?"

"Who the fuck is Ozpin?"

"Help us-"

Her words where cut off by the ghastly screech of a Nevermore, pecking at the protective bubble that covered the stadium.

He scowled "Thats not good."

The team armed themselves with their weapons, each with their own personal feelings of shock and sadness. The fact that their happy and peaceful world suddenly was shattered and broken…felt…weird…

Feeling like an outsider, James watched RWBY join with other teams, many of which didn't notice him in the heat of battle.

Suddenly, he heard a hiss. He turned and saw the Guitar Guy, the Bullshit man, and Bugs Bunny gingerly poking out from a corner not too far away. With everyone distracted, James snuck off to meet them.

"How the hell did you get here?!" James questioned furiously

"You just disappeared, and i thought i'd just play the game. Then these guys came to watch…" Kyle defended.

"You know whats bullllllllllllllllshit?" The man with a head caked with shit commented

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeh what's up, doc?" Bugs Bunny asked.

The Nerd seized Bugs's head and thrust it into the wall next to him.

"Dick head. So what now?"

Kyle shrugged "I guess we just wait. Try to survive whatever the hell is going on now"

"Good idea" the AVGN considered

And so they ran around the school, searching for a safe place to hide.

Finally they seemed to find a suitable area : Beacon's now destroyed cafeteria

Crouching under a beat up wooden table, bodies squashed uncomfortably close, they peered out into the smoky night.

Out from it came a group of screaming teenagers, chased by some one with a white mask, red hair, and black clothing. Adam Taurus.

Adam heartlessly kicked them around in glee. James made a move to get up and out of the makeshift hideout, but a startled voice that he vaguely recognised as Blake's stopped him.

"No…Adam?"

The shuddering sound was overflowing with emotion. She sounded like she knew Adam. Like they had a long history. And by the sound of her voice, not one she liked.

Adam grinned at her like a pedophile. "Hello, my darling"

As she backed away, he taunted her "Running away again?"

James had no idea what they where talking about, but he was getting bored fast. This Adam guy looked like a fucking asshole.

The table flew up, as Bugs Bunny revealed himself

"Eh, i'm bored! This table fucking stinks!"

Adam's eyes snapped onto the giant man sized bunny. Drawing his long sword, he twirled it and threw it with deadly accuracy at him, impaling his throat.

Bunny blood sprayed around, showering James, Kyle and the Bullshit man, while Bugs gargled, desperately attempting to pull the blade out of his throat in vain.

While he died, the Bullshit man raced forward, wanting to cause this red haired man some pain.

"You know whats buuuuuuuuuuuuull shit? Your fucking face!"

His shit covered hands wrapped themselves around Adam's disgusted face while the surrounding viewers were frozen in amazement at what they were witnessing. Eventually, the Bullshit man was overcome, and his neck was broken. Blake broke out of her stupor and sped forward, only to be tackled to the ground. It seemed all hope was flushed down the shit hole, but the Nerd stood up.

"I've had enough of this fucking shit eating, cock sucking, dick thrusting anal rape of a day!"

Adam seemed slightly more apprehensive towards this filthy mouthed idiot, stabbing Blake in the gut, so as to focus all of his attention on him. He rounded his shoulders and raised his fist, thinking that he should at least give his more arrogant enemies a feeling that they could win against him.

But the Nerd grappled him, and without his sword, Adam's arms flailed uselessly as he was slammed into the ground, breaking the smooth tiles below.

"You fucking red haired son of a bitch!"

He buried his fist into Adam's crotch, it's owner giving forth a loud yell.

"Shit eating fuck head!" James roared as he flipped his opponent onto a wooden bench, which exploded into fragments of wood shards.

Adam attempted to get up, pieces of wood sticking from his back, but met a visit from the Nerd's shoe.

Blood flew into the air, and a hand caught Adam's collar and whammed his face into the floor.

"I'm fucking lost, tired and angry! So, FUCK OFF!"

A kick to the gut sent him skidding across the floor.

"I've had enough of this shit! I HATE this place! I'd rather suck a buffalo's balls! I'd rather lick a turtle's wang head while getting a mace flung into my ASS!"

Adam's head got repeatedly stomped by the Nerd's shoe, blood shooting everywhere, decorating the floor red.

Ruby, Weiss and Yang made their way onto the scene, gasping at one their best friends impaled.

While they desperately tried to pull the sword out of Blake's stomach, Adam spat blood and slowly stood up to face the Nerd, grimacing.

"Who are you?"

"Me? I'm the fucking Angry Video Game Nerd."

With that, he head butted Adam to the ground and jumped on him, his shoulder impacting Adam's chest.

Finally, Adam was down for the count, and the Nerd sighed. Kyle had appeared at his shoulder, figuring that this was a sign that the danger was over.

"Ya know Nerd, I think that this was one weird day."

"Not weird," James growled, " Fucking irritating. I'd rather give birth to Godzilla though my dick hole than relive today. I'd rather be stabbed by the Empire State Building. I'd rather…" He stuttered, as if pained to say what was on his mind.

"Yes?" Kyle egged on

"I'd rather finish RWBY Grimm Eclipse."

Out of the blue, sparks blew out from the ground, circling the 2, turning into smoke that surrounded them like a cocoon.

Team RWBY, now with Blake saved and definitely not impaled, watched them teleport into another world silently, not knowing what had happened or how it happened…

Years later, when team RWBY had grown old and settled down with families and grandchildren, they still could never guess what had happened that day. To them, it was an odd appearance that boggled their mind. With their memories fading away, it was hard to remember what the mysterious man looked like. But there was one phrase they could always remember from that day, etched into their old and wise minds, never to fade away…

"Angry Video Game Nerd"


End file.
